In today’s fast-paced world, it feels like everything is accelerating. Over the past five years, the changes in how we live and work have been especially potent, and the pandemic has only heightened this sense of transformation. One major shift has been in how we spend our time alone and with each other, particularly as many of us have transitioned to working from home.
As an INTP, I’ve noticed that this shift has made it necessary for me to deliberately integrate Extraverted Feeling (Fe) into my life. In my daily grind, I often forget the importance of connecting with others and building a sense of community. My previous outlets for emotional expression, such as commuting and listening to music or podcasts, have largely disappeared.
There’s something unique about being in the car. It provides a sense of privacy and psychological protection, even amidst other drivers. It’s a place where I can sing, talk to myself, and work through my thoughts without distraction. I fondly remember road trips where I spent hours driving alone, giving me the opportunity to introspect and be with myself in a way that’s difficult to achieve nowadays.
Despite being an introvert, I’ve realized that introversion doesn’t automatically equate to quality introspection. Often, I don’t give myself the time to truly be with myself and engage in meaningful self-reflection. Instead, I tend to focus on work and neglect the need for quality introversion and extroverted expression.
Connecting with others and expressing myself are vital, yet often neglected, aspects of my life. I’m constantly amazed at the capacity for Extraverted Feeling, but I recognize that I don’t incorporate it enough into my daily routine. Much like exercise, we need to dedicate a small amount of time each day to engage in activities that fulfill our emotional and social needs.
I connect with my wife, but our interactions don’t fully meet my need for Extraverted Feeling expression. I often push away opportunities to connect with others, making excuses about time, energy, or maintaining professional distance. However, I’m becoming increasingly aware that I need to embrace these opportunities to build rapport and nurture relationships.
Reflecting on how life has shifted in recent years, I encourage you to consider what you might be missing. Are there aspects of your life that were once automatic but have since been neglected? For many of us, especially those of us with inferior Fe, it’s crucial to consciously integrate these missing elements into our lives.
It’s important to recognize that no single person can fulfill all our emotional needs. Dependence on a partner for everything is neither fair nor healthy. We must take responsibility for nurturing our own relationships and ensuring that we meet our needs for social connection and emotional expression.
As an INTP, stretching myself to allow for more relationship nurturing is essential. It’s not just about connecting with others but also about embracing my own need for extroverted expression. This podcast, for example, has been a beacon for sharing my thoughts and processing my experiences. I hope that by sharing this, it resonates with you and encourages you to reflect on your own needs and how you can better meet them.
Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect. If you require deeper material go check out my INTP-specific courses. Leave a comment and let me know what you think or if you have any questions or topic requests!
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